spearjosh

Articles & Entertainment

Qualifications: Eaten a sandwich for lunch nearly every single day of my life.

Every shop mentioned is a #1 if its accessible to you.

Legendary in New Jersey. Insane amount of options, fresher then fresh ingredients and staff. The pinnacle example of a deli. Busier then busy at rush hour. True sandwich aficionados. Old school and new school sandwich styles available. Family and lifelong staff run. You’ll feel like you ate summer time with the cold sandwiches and winter with the grillers. I practically lived in this shop for a period of my life. Make good choices and the deli is a great place to eat healthy well-balanced meals (sandwiches). Its impossible to go wrong here with any type of friend, family or acquaintance.

Millburn New Jersey… millburndeli.com IG: @millburndeli

Gold standard of Bakersfield Calif sandwiches. Once a local sandwich spot, now a local small sandwich chain, Sequoia kills it every time. Bakersfield is a different animal. When you need a solid delicious sandwich oasis in the dessert. To combat the weather and the standard corporate restaurants and chains. Every sandwich on the menu is the best in category. From Tuna on Squaw bread to Roast beef with Horseradish sauce. Their choices of ingredients pairings and breads leaves you feeling full, yet capable of physical activity. The place is popping at rush hour but chill and active all other times. Always fresh and always happily anticipated when headed to Bako.

Bakersfield California… Sequoiasandwich.com FB: @sequoiasandwich

When the butcher is better than the other butchers, then starts smoking the meat better than the other meat smokers. Then, puts that meat, on fresh bread, with gleaming green lettuce, glowing red tomatoes and fresh cheese. The result is a fantasy sandwich. Los Gatos meats is another spot with lines backing out the door. No matter how cranky and hungry you are at the end of the line waiting game. This smoked special is enough to make you apologize to people you thought bad things about while in line. If you’re in Santa Cruz, San Jose or nearby, this is a Bee-line situation. The quality of the product keeps you feeling clean and fresh and ready to ride a bike.

Los Gatos California…Losgatosmeats.com FB: @losgatosmeats.smokehouse IG: #losgatomeats

Self-roasted beef, home done salmon, surprisingly better then great. I was stoked to stumble on this sandwich shop. Loaded with super fresh in-house breakfast and lunch items. You feel like your eating out of the best picnic basket ever. Drink down their homemade Ice tea and then hit the coastline that’s 4 minutes away. Family run and very chill yet efficient. Some food spots are good and everyone tells you. Some places like Del Rey Deli are good and people hope you don’t find out and crowd up their favorite spot.

Delreydeli.cim IG: @delreydelico

The Mike Bocchetti Show Scripts

Bocchetti was the sidekick on the Direct TV Networks “The Artie Lange Show”

The Premise of these vignettes is Mike and his own sidekicks and Lackeys. Secretly using the Artie Lange set as their own whenever Artie isn’t there.

These were for promos for the Artie Lange show.

The Mike Bocchetti Show Episode #1

By
Josh Spear
Mike Bocchetti

THE MIKE BOCCHETTI SHOW EPISODE #1
Mike is using Artie Lang’s studio like it is his own studio when Artie isn’t there and doesn’t know.

INT. ARTIE LANGE SHOW STUDIO

Homemade “Mike Bocchetti Show” Sign behind him and
people are scrambling around like any TV set.

ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentleman welcome to the
Miikkkkkeeee Bochetttiii Show! With
your Star and host, Mike Bocchetti!
Claps applause and cheering

MIKE
Thank you thank you, welcome to my
show. You guys are really nice
thank you! (Long pause)Do I have a
guest?

Pizza delivery Guy walks into the studio, everyone turns to
look at startled pizza guy.

PIZZA GUY
uh, I got an extra-large with
everything

MIKE
Yes yes, sit thank you that’s
great!
Pizza guy sits in guest chair and Mike opens box and starts
opening eating and asking questions

MIKE
Welcome to the show, your my first
guest, you’re the Bill Murry to my
Letterman, so what do you do?

PIZZA GUY
I’m the Pizza Guy and I deliver
your pizza and you pay me and give
me a pretty good tip then I do it
again somewhere else.

MIKE
that’s great thank you, you must
love your job

PIZZA GUY
not really I used to be an
investment banker, until I lost my
job in the recession
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.

MIKE
that’s really great

PIZZA GUY
you going to pay me or what
Mike starts eating pizza and forgets to answer the pizza guy
for uncomfortably long silence. Announcer gives Pizza Guy
money and he gets up to leave. Mike stands up and hugs him
and wipes hands on him at same time

MIKE
Thank you so much, we have to have
you back, your great for live TV,
ill love what you do! Your good for
ratings your better then Charles
Groden, give it up for this guy
pizza and personality
someone yells at the top of their lungs

BACK ROUND VOICE
Artie’s coming up in the elevator
everyone hides scrambles and grab’s Mikes sign

***********

Mike Bocchetti Show Episode # 2

By
Josh Spear

Mike Bocchetti
Mike is using Artie Lang’s studio like it is his own studio
with a homemade “Mike Bocchetti Show” Sign behind him and
people are scrambling around like any TV set.

ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentleman welcome to the Miikkkkkeeee Bochetttiii
Show! With your Star and host, Mike Bocchetti!

MIKE
Thank you, you guys are great,
welcome to the second episode of my
show, last week we had the Pizza
delivery guy and he was really
great, I hope this guest is half as
good. Please welcome a good friend
of mine…I bring him on the road
with me as my headliner he closes
all my shows for me…Josh Spear
Josh enters to the claps from whoever is around

MIKE
Most comics like Artie bring an
opening act but I don’t like doing
more than 20 minutes because I’m too
much of a big shot so I go on and
then make this guy finish for me.

JOSH
thanks for having me Mike

MIKE
I have known Josh for 20 years,
you’re lucky I got this gig or you’d
still be doing open mics.

JOSH
you’re the boss Mike

MIKE
I know, what’s it like working with a
stud like me

JOSH
it’s pretty glamorous

MIKE
what’s it like getting the hot
chic’s that I reject

JOSH
it’s cool because your rejects are
hotter then Maroon Fives keepers

MIKE
I know right! You should meet the
Pizza guy from my last show he was
a great guest.

JOSH
I saw that, it was compelling
television

MIKE
How did you like putting me in this
diaper for my calendar
hold up his calendar?

JOSH
that wasn’t me, I told you I’d
quit.

MIKE
Then who was it?
Shot of Matt and Joel

MIKE
your lucky guys, I’ll have you on
next week

BACK ROUND VOICE
Artie’s coming up in the elevator!

MIKE
I’ll have him on soon too!
Everyone hides scrambles and grab’s Mikes sign

***********

Mike Bocchetti Episode # 3

Mike Bocchetti

Mike is using Artie Lange’s studio like it is his own studio
with a home made “Mike Bocchetti Show” sign behind him and
people are scrambling around like any TV set. In this
episode Mike and his sidekick, Josh, are sitting at Artie’s
desk eating Chinese food.

MADDOG MATTERN
Ladies and gentleman welcome to the
Miikkkkkeeee Bochetttiii Show! With
your star and host, Mike Bocchetti!
A man who put the love in love. A
guy that’s soo smooth peanut butter
sued for copyright infringement. A
guy that Elvis and Andy Kaufman ask
for advice. A guy that’s done one
thousand road gigs and never driven
a car. A man with one week of
military experience. The King of
sandwiches and pizza, the Ayatollah
of Country Western and Rock n Roll.
A dog among cat’s. Lean like a gigantic sex machine.
Mike and Josh continue to eat. A member of the crew comes
over and grabs an egg roll. No one is paying attention to
Maddog’s intro.

MADDOG MATTERN

A baller and a bowler and ex-diver.
A guy who knows when to hold them,
when to fold them, when to walk
away and when to run. Mike does
count his money when he is sitting
at the table. A monster of Twitter
and Rock. The face of Facebook. He
is the social network. The king of
comedy, the Joe Pesci of this crew,
the Johnny Carson of the Mike
Bocchetti Show. A leather jacket
among wind breakers. Hipper then a
hipster, cooler then ice and dry
ice. I love him like a brother. The
Michael Jordon of both basketball
and baseball baby, any sport with a
B! Including bocci ball. The Derek
Jeter of the Mets.