The Mike Bocchetti Show Scripts

Bocchetti was the sidekick on the Direct TV Networks “The Artie Lange Show”

The Premise of these vignettes is Mike and his own sidekicks and Lackeys. Secretly using the Artie Lange set as their own whenever Artie isn’t there.

 These were for promos for the Artie Lange show.

The Mike Bocchetti Show Episode #1

By
Josh Spear
Mike Bocchetti

THE MIKE BOCCHETTI SHOW EPISODE #1
Mike is using Artie Lang’s studio like it is his own studio when Artie isn’t there and doesn’t know.

INT. ARTIE LANGE SHOW STUDIO

Homemade “Mike Bocchetti Show” Sign behind him and
people are scrambling around like any TV set.

ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentleman welcome to the
Miikkkkkeeee Bochetttiii Show! With
your Star and host, Mike Bocchetti!
Claps applause and cheering

MIKE
Thank you thank you, welcome to my
show. You guys are really nice
thank you! (Long pause)Do I have a
guest?

Pizza delivery Guy walks into the studio, everyone turns to
look at startled pizza guy.

PIZZA GUY
uh, I got an extra-large with
everything

MIKE
Yes yes, sit thank you that’s
great!
Pizza guy sits in guest chair and Mike opens box and starts
opening eating and asking questions

MIKE
Welcome to the show, your my first
guest, you’re the Bill Murry to my
Letterman, so what do you do?

PIZZA GUY
I’m the Pizza Guy and I deliver
your pizza and you pay me and give
me a pretty good tip then I do it
again somewhere else.

MIKE
that’s great thank you, you must
love your job

PIZZA GUY
not really I used to be an
investment banker, until I lost my
job in the recession
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.

MIKE
that’s really great

PIZZA GUY
you going to pay me or what
Mike starts eating pizza and forgets to answer the pizza guy
for uncomfortably long silence. Announcer gives Pizza Guy
money and he gets up to leave. Mike stands up and hugs him
and wipes hands on him at same time

MIKE
Thank you so much, we have to have
you back, your great for live TV,
ill love what you do! Your good for
ratings your better then Charles
Groden, give it up for this guy
pizza and personality
someone yells at the top of their lungs

BACK ROUND VOICE
Artie’s coming up in the elevator
everyone hides scrambles and grab’s Mikes sign

***********

Mike Bocchetti Show Episode # 2

By
Josh Spear

Mike Bocchetti
Mike is using Artie Lang’s studio like it is his own studio
with a homemade “Mike Bocchetti Show” Sign behind him and
people are scrambling around like any TV set.

ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentleman welcome to the Miikkkkkeeee Bochetttiii
Show! With your Star and host, Mike Bocchetti!

MIKE
Thank you, you guys are great,
welcome to the second episode of my
show, last week we had the Pizza
delivery guy and he was really
great, I hope this guest is half as
good. Please welcome a good friend
of mine…I bring him on the road
with me as my headliner he closes
all my shows for me…Josh Spear
Josh enters to the claps from whoever is around

MIKE
Most comics like Artie bring an
opening act but I don’t like doing
more than 20 minutes because I’m too
much of a big shot so I go on and
then make this guy finish for me.

JOSH
thanks for having me Mike

MIKE
I have known Josh for 20 years,
you’re lucky I got this gig or you’d
still be doing open mics.

JOSH
you’re the boss Mike

MIKE
I know, what’s it like working with a
stud like me

JOSH
it’s pretty glamorous

MIKE
what’s it like getting the hot
chic’s that I reject

JOSH
it’s cool because your rejects are
hotter then Maroon Fives keepers

MIKE
I know right! You should meet the
Pizza guy from my last show he was
a great guest.

JOSH
I saw that, it was compelling
television

MIKE
How did you like putting me in this
diaper for my calendar
hold up his calendar?

JOSH
that wasn’t me, I told you I’d
quit.

MIKE
Then who was it?
Shot of Matt and Joel

MIKE
your lucky guys, I’ll have you on
next week

BACK ROUND VOICE
Artie’s coming up in the elevator!

MIKE
I’ll have him on soon too!
Everyone hides scrambles and grab’s Mikes sign

***********

Mike Bocchetti Episode # 3

Mike Bocchetti

Mike is using Artie Lange’s studio like it is his own studio
with a home made “Mike Bocchetti Show” sign behind him and
people are scrambling around like any TV set. In this
episode Mike and his sidekick, Josh, are sitting at Artie’s
desk eating Chinese food.

MADDOG MATTERN
Ladies and gentleman welcome to the
Miikkkkkeeee Bochetttiii Show! With
your star and host, Mike Bocchetti!
A man who put the love in love. A
guy that’s soo smooth peanut butter
sued for copyright infringement. A
guy that Elvis and Andy Kaufman ask
for advice. A guy that’s done one
thousand road gigs and never driven
a car. A man with one week of
military experience. The King of
sandwiches and pizza, the Ayatollah
of Country Western and Rock n Roll.
A dog among cat’s. Lean like a gigantic sex machine.
Mike and Josh continue to eat. A member of the crew comes
over and grabs an egg roll. No one is paying attention to
Maddog’s intro.

MADDOG MATTERN

A baller and a bowler and ex-diver.
A guy who knows when to hold them,
when to fold them, when to walk
away and when to run. Mike does
count his money when he is sitting
at the table. A monster of Twitter
and Rock. The face of Facebook. He
is the social network. The king of
comedy, the Joe Pesci of this crew,
the Johnny Carson of the Mike
Bocchetti Show. A leather jacket
among wind breakers. Hipper then a
hipster, cooler then ice and dry
ice. I love him like a brother. The
Michael Jordon of both basketball
and baseball baby, any sport with a
B! Including bocci ball. The Derek
Jeter of the Mets.

The crew continues to eat, oblivious to Maddog’s continued
rant.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 2.

MADDOG MATTERN
and his super cool sidekick—

VOICE IN BACKGROUND
Artie’s in the elevator.
Everyone scrambles and removes the Mike Bocchetti Show sig